Whistle while you WORK, dammit!

You know, I think there is a big push in our culture to suppress ingenuity, imagination and intelligence. We end up with this massive "to do" list that consumes so much of our time that actual thinking and reflection is sacrificed for work, work, work.

I think about my students, particularly my IB students. They have a very big to do list. Between Extended Essays, Internal Assessments, External Assessments, classroom requirements, and college applications, it is a wonder that they have time for any extra-curricular activities (which of course they need in order to have sterling college applications that show their dedication to being well-rounded... whew). Then there is the life they live, which is very complicated because they are very complicated beings, emotionally turbulent, hormonally variable, tired, growing, and sensorily overloaded. It makes my head spin to think about it.

And then I think about myself. I teach, and yet so much of my job is ostensibly NOT about teaching. I have to analyze data, assess school-wide problems, determine solutions for said problems, participate in professional development, participate in surveys, individually coach failing students, promote programs, write recommendation letters, advise extra-curricular clubs, contact parents, and meet with colleagues. All of those are important, and necessary parts of a functioning school, but I wonder how much they add to my teaching practice. As a teacher, I find that in order to be a better teacher, I must reflect on my practice daily. That may involve sitting and staring at a wall. And perhaps this sitting and staring at a wall has been mistaken for "free time" by the powers that be. Henceforth, my obligatory "to do" list grows.

I tried something different with my seniors this last week. They had to visually represent a scene from Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and explain how it used the perspective of Via Positiva, which we had been talking about that day. They wowed me completely with these creative, thoughtful, funny, and ingenious ideas. And they came up with these ideas in 10 minutes! Their imagination is intact. Their ingenuity is right under the surface waiting to be unleashed!

When did reflection and thinking and considering become so suppressed? My personal belief is that this idea came about from the Puritans. We are a nation founded on a very strong work ethic. Those people had to work in order to live here. This work ethic founded America, gosh-darnit, and was amplified during the depression when my grandparents grew up. My grandfather was a hard-worker who put in an honest day's work as a metal worker. Later, in the 60's, my grandparents couldn't understand my uncle's job as a scientific researcher. They couldn't understand how someone could be paid to think about salamanders.

Where would we be without creativity and thinking and reflection. We wouldn't have the computer without creativity. We wouldn't have life-saving surgical devices without reflection. We wouldn't have the unbelievebly useless devices advertised at Bed Bath and Beyond, products like "The Mangroomer" (really? reaaaaaaallly?). Okay, I guess that isn't the best argument for my point today.

What I do think is that reflection and thinking are critical (if somewhat pooh-poohed) aspects of any professional practice. I wonder if we can allow ourselves the time to sit and think. The time to reflect on what we do well and what we can do better. The time to stop and make decisions that aren't based on panic, time, or desperation.

My challenge to you today is that you stop and think for 20 minutes. Stare out a window, listen to yourself, think about what you do and how you do it. Your practices will not suffer from your pausing.

The mirror

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:11-13

I have a hard time sitting still and just being. I feel almost as though my constant movement and activity signifies that I am industrious. My industriousness signifies my contribution to the earth which signifies my awesomeness as a human being. But I've noticed that while I am a mean multi-tasker, the quality of my work is less than hoped for, and the constant running of my engine means that I burn out faster, and for long periods of time I am in
the shop, useless and in disrepair.

Intentionality and mindfulness are the key words of the blog today. I am teaching the great Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard. As we dug into the book the first week, I realized that this book is about everything we don't like talking about. I mean, the book is ostensibly about Dillard's observations of nature, but the book is really about what we see reflected back at us when we look at nature. SCARY! Who likes to look in a mirror, especially one that seems distorted and funhouse-esque.




But here's the thing about the mirror. We need to have some kind of self-awareness in order to fuel the engines. I think I multi-task because I am afraid of what happens when I stop. I don't want to sit and think because I'm afraid of what I will think of. Thinking means that I have to be accountable for stuff. That mirror reflects all the blargy-blarg; the blemishes, the chin(s) the cellulite. But the mirror also reflects God; beauty, kindness, contentment and love....if we are able to see it. Being intentional means stopping to smell the roses. Being mindful means tuning out the noise. Intentionality and mindfulness allow us to really see the reflection of who we are, what is going on with us.

My challenge is that you stop what you are doing to look at what is being reflected back to you. Is it rough? Only for a few minutes. Then you notice that you really like your bangs that way and you really don't look like Jack Black (no matter how many times your students tell you this). But mostly, I hope you are able to really see the amazing creation you are. Let that be your fuel.

Roses on Wednesday

SOMEONE got roses today. Okay, I got roses today from my dear friend Heather and her new baby son, Jedidiah whose yawn is only surpassed by his sneeze in cuteness.

Have to share a few things...

1) My friend Kara's Blog. It is fabulous. She is speaking truth and love and wisdom.
2) Am I really supposed to be a teacher?
3) I love teaching Thoreau, but fear that my life is so anti-Thoreau that I am never going to learn the real lessons of simplicity unless I live in a convent in Switzerland. Or Scotland.
4) Jane Fonda is fabulous.
5) I hate grading papers.
6) It is fall...

7) Kelle Hampton's blog made me cry this last weekend. I mean it made me go into the ugly cry. Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? What I have learned about life is that the most important relationship I have is with myself. I have to be kinder to myself and that also means letting go of the things I can't control. It's a hard life, why make it harder by beating ourselves up?
8) Laugh at something today. Laughter is the best medicine. Really. Here is something to laugh at.

What I learned from 33 Chilean miners

The last of the Chilean miners has emerged from half a mile below the surface of the earth. Amazing. I watched the streaming video and I showed the video to some of my students today. Everyone wanted to see this amazing thing again and again. My eyes filled with tears again and again. It was so powerful; no commentary, no ads or banners, just the camera trained on a hole in the ground, and the patience of waiting for something wonderful to happen.

As each of the miners emerged, they were so happy. Their families were so happy. The Chilean president tried to describe how the miners felt when they came out of the darkness and into the light. He said they felt "reborn" and most of all, they felt alive. I am incredibly claustrophobic, I can't imagine how they felt living in the hot, humid darkness for 69 days. Did they wonder if they would ever get out? Did they imagine the worst?

It got me thinking about mindsets. Those men survived because they set their mind to hope, to trust and to live. I sometimes feel like I get stuck in the emotional mine shafts of my life. I head down a dark path hoping to excavate something that needs to come out, and then there is a cave in and I am stuck in a dark, scary, terrifying place. I know how easy it is to resolve myself to never getting out. It would be easier to stay in bed, eat cookies, and shut off the phones. And no matter what my friends say or do, I have to change the mindset myself. Nobody can change it for me. But when I adopt the mindset that these problems are just momentary, that I am not defined by my sadness or by my negativity, wonderful things begin to happen.

"faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

What is your mindset today? Are you saying "yes" to yourself or is it easier to just believe that things will never get better? I have learned to trust that "yes" mindset. I may be disappointed by moments of blargh, but life is not disappointing. Life surpasses our greatest expectations, but only when we ask it to.

It's a hard knock life...

I am nearing the end of September, thank the good Lord.

It was a bit of a month. There were lots of little turkeys to cross my path; electrical problems, computer woes, vomiting cats. All that stuff can be fixed rather easily, and it was. But then there were some big, frickin gorrillas that came and beat their chests in the midst of my calm. These problems are much larger than I can get into in a blog-like format. I pay someone to help me with those problems, or I make my friends listen to my emotional vomiting and then I buy them a beer.

I guess my point is that I was stuck in this downward spiral. Just when I thought things were coming back around, a little turkey or a big gorilla messed it all up. There is a certain amount of helplessness in circumstances like these. What can I do but hold up my arms and say, "meh"? So that's kind of what I learned this month. There are always turkeys or gorillas and sometimes we have to let go in order to move forward. During September, I filled my journal with a laundry list of these down-turners. Then I realized that I needed to start filling my journal with what I hoped for rather than the things that were bringin me down. It made me feel so much better, and it was so easy to do.

It all comes down to perceptions. If my perception or outlook is to recall and check off this laundry list of horrible things going on in my life, then that is all I will have. But does it benefit me to count my woes? My Gramma Mae always said, "count your blessings." It was a phrase I always rolled my eyes and nodded at. But when the fit hit the shan this month, my blessings were all I wanted to think about. Okay Gramma, I'm trying.