She recently asked me to read through an essay she had written and I briefly asked her what was going on in her world. I had been laid up on the sofa for two days with a nasty ear infection and my major achievements in that time had been walking downstairs, showering and making tea. She had been having a day of controlled chaos; meetings, exercise, clients, classes, doggy day care... and in the middle of that she had taken time to pour out her heart and soul into a personal, cathartic essay. I hadn't even journalled. Jenn is always the kind of busy that involves late dinners and last minute projects. I loathe being that busy. I have to gear up for major tasks or errands. I have unfinished projects that I haven't even started. And I never eat meals late. Ever.
What is the opposite of type A? It rather suggests that type A is the best and then everyone else is just average or failing. Having never been a type A person, I have always considered myself the lame-o, the slug who has very little inclination toward becoming overly ambitioius. That isn't to say that I don't have passions or pursuits, but I can get sidetracked by a binge-watching marathon or a couple rounds of candy crush saga. Guilt usually follows these endeavors, but the guilt fades and it is okay again. Monday comes and so do the opportunities to do it differently, to take up the project, to be the non-slug.
Everyone is motivated by something, that is just the way we are. We may be motivated to sleep or to build a canoe, but here's the thing; life comes unexpectedly to our doorsteps, and when we set out to accomplish the to-do list, the universe often has different plans. Our best intentions can get waylaid by an illness, a break up, a chance meeting, a heartbreak or a heart surge. And even the tidiest, most efficient type-A person gets unavoidably put off course.
My to-do list will always be long but it won't be overly ambitious. As the holidays approach, I think about how I want to enjoy the holidays, not chase them. I tend to think I enjoy life and do well at life, but I did cancel my subscription to Martha Stewart Living, too much pressure.