I subscribe to some really good magazines. There is no greater pleasure than sitting on my balcony with a coffee and a Coastal Living, or Mental Floss. Recently, I resubscribed to a magazine I had canceled a while back. It is a fashion magazine and I canceled it because its portrayal of women got a little too blatantly sexist and really just plain rude. I like fashion; give me a layout where a stylish peacoat and a smart heel are paired ridiculously well on a darling woman who is leaping confidently across Fifth Avenue, and I'm like, "you go, smart-heeled girl, I bet you'll get that job you're interviewing for." This magazine was definitely interested in using fashion to sell a message. The problem is that the message wasn't "you go girl" but "you use your sexuality to get what you want, girl." Okay, if I'm being honest, the magazine in question offered me a free scarf and a stupid low subscription rate, I was momentarily dazzled by the free scarf. It is awesome. I wear it all the time.
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| Truer words... Martha Beck's column in the Oprah magazine |
This fashion messaging made me think about what ideas I subscribe to. In the magazine stand of my brain, what ideas, beliefs and values am I subscribing to that are ultimately bringing me down? I did a mental clean out of all my subscriptions. The subscription of self-image came up a lot. I'm no glamazonian super model, and the last time I wore a size zero was never. But I finally had the realization (actually more of a der moment) that women's sizes and shapes are diverse, and they should be. Women constantly subscribe to an unreasonable self-image because someone somewhere must have sent a dictatorial memo that there is only ONE standard of beauty that we all must follow. And for what reason? There is way more than one type of beautiful woman, and if we are all unique like snowflakes, then logic suggests that there is way more than one standard of beauty. Are you still with me so far?
Another bunk subscription is other people's definition of success. Do you ever feel like the moment you've accomplished your latest goal, almost immediately there is an anticlimax? It could come as criticism from another source and it could be your own self-criticism. It is sometimes very difficult for me to be okay with my version of success. I think I'm doing okay, but someone comes along and sends a message that my success isn't somehow enough. At this point I have to pause for thought and ask myself a couple of key questions. One, do I appreciate what I have accomplished? Two, did I feel successful? If I can answer yes to those two questions, guess what? I did it! Allowing other people to define my version of success really saps the joy from my accomplishment.
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| a fake tattoo... but a good permanent message |
It is so imperative in this often contentious culture to subscribe to the things that ultimately make us happy and enrich our spirits. If we find happiness and contentment in our lives, then we will be better humans, we will support others and we will feel the rich gifts that come with this one wild and precious life.
