Okay, so I watch "Hoarders" sometimes. It is really interesting to see how people save old cans of rusted nails instead of a relationship with their sons and daughters. We all know that hoarding is an emotional problem, right? I mean, people don't save 500 empty tubes of toothpaste because of a desperate need to recycle. They save this stuff because it allows them a tiny bit of control in their unexpected and scary lives. Life by its nature is unexpected, harsh, and scary aaand unexpected, beautiful, and surprising.I am in no way a physical hoarder. I watch that show and then I go clean out a desk drawer. I'm pretty good about taking things out if other things come in. There's a lot of space in my house, but that doesn't mean I have to fill it. My mom might disagree with my penchant for filling up spaces or keeping stuff from my past, but just FYI Mom, that Outsiders poster I kept from 1988 is framed and hanging in my rec room. But I digress. I'm not a collector of anything that I couldn't part with. I like stuff, but I like people more. Thinking about this, I thought about these hoarders. People usually hoard after a traumatic loss or event in their lives. For some people, the hoarding itself alleviates the fear and anxiety associated with the trauma. It made me think about my emotions and the stuff I don't want to deal with. Am I an emotional hoarder? Do I collect thoughts, feelings and attitudes and do I hang onto them when facing difficult situations?
It is easy to go to the places we know. I like those places better than the scary unknowns. But if I don't go to the scary, unknown places, how often will I miss the unexpected surprises? My emotional hoarding has sometimes kept me from the challenge and surprise of the unexpected life. And isn't that what life is?
