Well, awards season is upon us. I must admit, I relish the dresses, the presenters, the categories, the host banter... gah, I love it.
And now the crazy part, I have practiced my Academy Awards speech, like a few times. I mean, it could happen, I could write a hilarious and touching screenplay or a song that makes it into a quiet yet powerful movie. My name would be called, I would put a hand on my chest, fan my eyes a bit, kiss my date (Gerard Butler, obviously) and step up to the stage where Matt Damon would hand me the giant man of gold. What would I say? Who would I thank?
I love critiquing the acceptance speeches of the people who win. Meryl Streep is great; so humbly thankful and articulate while also charming with a little joke. Jonathan Demme is awful, goes on and on and on and on while being totally overwhelmed and flustered. There is a certain balance in a good acceptance speech; grateful and surprised while also being poised and articulate. That music is going to play you off, are you going to leave the stage without thanking your husband?? (Hilary Swank... talking to you)
I basically think you have to thank four groups in your speech; the people who gave you the award (der, they voted for you), the people you worked with (because they made you look good, never forget), your parents (they made you who you are), and a spiritual force of your choice (mine is God, because I can do all things through Him who gives me strength).
Until I get that award-winning screenplay or juicy breakthrough role in the next Tarantino film, I will continue to watch and love award shows and practice my own acceptance speech in the shower with a bottle of shampoo.
