Lessons were learned... I think.

So I was watching Jenny McCarthy on Oprah. I know, you're thinking to yourself what a cultural bastion I am. I am, don't be jealous. But anyway, she was speaking very candidly about her relationship with Jim Carrey and the lessons she learned from the relationship. Oprah was on a kick about what relationships teach us. She had Terry McMillan on later in the show talking about bitterness and how holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

But I am digressing. I started to think about my relationships. What lessons have I learned from my relationships? And are these lessons sticking with me? Relationships always seem to school me, and sometimes when I exit a relationship I tend to slam the door in anger on any sort of trailing lessons that might follow.

And then I thought about my relationship with God. What lessons am I taking from that relationship every day? I'm not talking about lessons from the Bible, I'm talking about the intimacy with God that allows me to see myself through His eyes. I know God wants to teach me stuff, but I have been very closed to his lessons lately. There is a wall of bitterness and frustration and contempt that goes up when things aren't going my way. I wonder if he is trying to teach me openness and forgiveness, especially of myself. I wonder if He's trying to teach me that I am okay just the way I am. I wonder if He's trying to teach me that when I live in openness, I will feel more love. I know, you're thinking to yourself that I am incredibly perceptive and quick. I am, don't be jealous.