I haven't blogged in a while. When school was out I went into a hibernation that involved catching up on my netflix, knitting, and trying to build a nap into every day's schedule. And then I went to California for a vacation and discovered a blissed out serenity and contentment that I haven't had since I was 19. Let me share it with you.
I spent two days staring at the ocean in San Clemente. I was detoxing my brain from all the muck and clogs that just didn't get cleared out during the school year. And while I was staring out at the ocean, its constant movement and gentle waves, I felt this very clear peace. It was the kind of contentment that comes with being comfortable with who I am, where I am, what I am doing and what the future holds. It was amazing. How many of us get to feel that... or the better question, how hard is it to get into a place where we can accept that feeling?
It was as though all the stuff I hang onto when I am stressed out... the pulling hair out just to have something to clutch in my hands feeling... was gone. I was able to extend my fingers out and feel free of those clutches. The security blankets I know and love can sometimes keep me from being confident, feeling loved, and experiencing peace. In California I was able to let go. And in that moment, I felt content. The freedom that comes with that is intimidating, because you still have to face the dark corners. But there is such freedom in knowing that you can face the dark corners without your security blanket. I am trying to pursue the moment... each and every one I find this summer.
2 comments:
What a peaceful video. We could use more time to reflect, especially teachers. That made my morning.
I think I smelled and tasted salt water when I watched that video. Lovely to remember what it is like on the beach.
There seems a very strong connection between this post and the previous one on Solitude. That is a great Nouwen quote. Hope you enjoy summer vacation!
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