How much does anger cost?
I'll admit, I've been frustrated lately. It is easy for that frustration to manifest into anger and then for the anger to manifest into bitterness. And then the bitterness makes us feel more bloated than a hot dog eating contest. The truth is, anger does nothing for us. It is like drinking poison and expecting the object of our anger to die. And yet, we have such a hard time releasing ourselves from it. It is almost addictive. If we could just get a witness or some validation for our anger, then we'd be free of it.
Well, that doesn't solve problems. The truth is that life is sometimes unfair and sometimes we don't agree with people or practices. And instead of accepting that, we get angry-er-er. These are the people at health care reform town hall meetings, these are the people who have talk shows on news networks, these are the people who have escalated to near stroke levels in their inability to process difficult emotions.
I was told this summer that I am in the "in" group where I work. I don't know about that. I tend to deal with difficult situations by problem solving or rationalizing, rather than escalating the situation to epic levels of "THIS-IS-SPARTA!!-push-you-off-a-cliff" madness. I wasn't always this way. I can be pretty emotional and scream-y and blood pressure raisingly grrrrrrr sometimes. But that emotional torment has never aided my cause. I found outlets for my grrrr-ness; yoga, counselling, chips and salsa, and visualizing that stone cottage in Scotland. If nothing else, I have great "shower rants" in which I rant and argue with nonexistent people while I shower.
Yesterday, I read this idea that the sea may ebb and flow, but it is still the sea. What is constant in my life is God. God is. The troubles of my life and the anger that I feel may come and go, and come again, but God is God. He is my anchor when I feel adrift. And honestly, why participate in anger when it produces so few results? Anger doesn't make us healthier, smarter, more popular... it is a moment of torment that we have a hard time casting off.
What does anger cost us?
3 comments:
I guess I see anger in a different way. Anger was a big part of the civil rights movement, feminism, childrens' rights movement, labors rights, anti-slavery, help for domestic violence, etc. Some things we cannot accept as just being unfair. We need to get angry and shout about it. There is a reality in the world. Anger with how people are treated is a huge motivator for change. Results driven change. Granted, constructive action is needed....yelling at the wind won't change much. But I think anger is a valid response to a lot of atrocities that happen in the world. And we need it for our survival and to provide comfort and justice.
I like my anger. I like my emotionality (is that a word?). I also like my logical, rational side. But both can get outta whack and outta balance and I don't like that. But in general I don't think anger is intrinsically detrimental. And I do think it produces some beneficially results.
I think anger can be helpful.....now temper tantrums that result from extreme fear or selfishness I could do without. I think frustration & bitterness happen when we cannot find a way to use our anger productively. I think it is difficult to find that way. I think life is very difficult. I think spirituality/religion can help motivate some people to be extremely strong and persevere through the difficulties. Like you describe God in your life. I think. I dunno I am an atheist, so wtf do I know? God is not a personal experience for me, it is hard for me to relate, I can only theorize. So I should probably stop rambling all over your blog. It is fun to talk & philosophize & whatnot tho :) Thanks for making me think about big concepts, I enjoy it.
ooops! I forgot a period. I do know I am an atheist. I just don't know how non-atheists think, so I shouldn't presume I do know. *sigh* I also do know I am a sloppy writer and a huge dork. Harhar!
I agree that anger is a legitimate emotion that everyone feels from time to time. It is was we do about the anger that is critical. Sometimes it is a great motivator for good. Sometimes not. It is wearing anger like a cloak that is poisonous. Barbara
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